These are my beautiful flowers that a secret admirer bought me. I love flowers. I love the metaphors, the fragrances, the petals, the blooms. A bouquet effectively cheers my Spirit when on my kitchen counter, especially when I lay eyes on it while dragging myself out of slumber in the morning, or during a capital B Bad day when I'm stressed or having anxiety issues I can literally stop and smell the flowers, and just admire them. This helps keep me focused on gratitude and reflecting on the good things. Sometimes it's hard to remain positive. A colorful and fragrant flower can help. Don't they do this for everyone? Does it matter who the flowers came from? Should it matter that the secret admirer....is my Self?Last week I had what I guess you could call a regression of sorts, if we are speaking in recovery terms. I had a mini depressive episode that really made me reflect on the major depressive episode I had at the end of 2012 that lasted over 3 months and landed me in therapy and on pills and on the journey I find myself on now. It really threw me back into that state that I was in during that Dark Night of the Soul, and I was really able to physically feel how much I have mentally, emotionally and spiritually progressed. After getting through that drag of time, I figured I could use a little cheer.
After I started trying to basically be better to my Self and start to swing back against the blows of Depression (capital.fucking.D), I started to buy myself flowers. It might sound pathetic, or sound bad for my husband, but it's honestly not. My husband is a good man, but he's not always home to present me with such things and isn't the greatest at surprising me with tokens of his affection. I can count my bouquets from my husband in ten years probably on one hand still? Although, the ones that I have bought for myself (albeit still bought with his hard earned money) I'm pretty sure I would need both hands for...and maybe a foot? About a year ago I started to randomly grab flower arrangements for myself when I was out shopping. $5 usually, sometimes even up to $10 if I am feeling the need. Once a month, or every other. Is that really so much to spend on the health of your Spirit? I'll tell my husband, "You got me beautiful flowers this week, thank you so much, babe!" Funny...and true.
There isn't always going to be someone there to bring me flowers, so I'll get my Self some. What is your Soul worth? Flowers were probably the first things of beauty valued by man. They are so fleeting, so delicate, so bright. They involve all 5 senses if you eat them and chew loudly, right? They are a wonderful positive stimulus for the senses and that crosses over into positive energy for the Soul. Bouquets help to bring a little color to your day when the Gray has got you down. There is power in the flower.